The Dinner Of Trimalchio

Recently I had to read this section from Petronius' 'the Satyricon' and also it was just my birthday so I found this funny. If any of you haven't read this book, it's great. This excerpt is the host's interpretation of astrological signs. He was a total fool but I wonder if this did represent what ancient Romans thought of the signs. I myself have decided to quit school and become a fish-fryer! Enjoy!

"First it becomes the Ram. So whoever is born under that sign has a lot of herds, a lot of wool, a hard head as well, a brassy front and a sharp horn. Most scholars are born under this sign, and most muttonheads as well."
We applauded the wit of our astrologer and he went on:
"Then the whole heavens turns into the little old Bull. So bullheaded folk are born then, and cow-herds and those who find their own feed.
"Under the Heavenly Twins on the other hand - pairs-in-hand, yokes of oxen, people with big ballocks and people who do it both ways.
"I was born under the Crab, so I have a lot of legs to stand on and a lot of property on land and sea, because the Crab takes both in his stride. And that's why I put nothing over him earlier, so as not to upset my horoscope.
"Under Leo are born greedy and bossy people.
"Under the Virgin, effeminates, runaways and candidates for the chain-gang.
"Under the Scales, butchers, perfume-sellers and anyone who weighs things up.
"Under Scorpio poisoners and murderers.
"Under Sagittarius are born cross-eyed people who look at the vegetables and take the bacon.
"Under Capricorn, people in trouble who sprout horns through their worries.
"Under the Water-Carrier, bartenders and jugheads.
"Under the fishes, fish-fryers and people who spout in public.
"So the starry sky turns round like a millstone, always bringing some trouble, and men being born or dying."
-Anne