Such a mess of a day! I swear... I was a total mess in Latin... This whole perfect passive participle thing is killing me... Not how to form it. I get that... most of the time... but how to translate it? Hehe... I wish! It's not coming as instinctively as all the other tenses and forms have. We're told constantly in English classes that passive voice is bad, bad, bad... Drilled to never do it, even while we aren't told precisely what it is (because grammar education in this country is a joke)... Even though the passive voice isn't incorrect, strictly speaking, it's just not "the most correct." ::rolls eyes:: What ever that's supposed to mean...
But what *really* killed me today was my seminar. We had to turn in the rough drafts of our term papers last Monday... or I should say more precisely, my half of the class did; the other half turned in their papers last week. So for tonight's class, those of us who turned our papers in this week had our papers ripped apart by everyone else. I guess I'm sensitive about such things... or maybe its because even after all the info I've gathered, I still don't feel I have a handle on it, or perhaps it's just because I already felt my paper is terribly constructed to begin with... I don't know, but it was really hard to sit there for about a half hour while everyone grilled me on what's wrong with the paper. I didn't argue with people like most others did. I didn't defend it and I tried really hard to explain myself, but I think even I didn't know what I was saying most of the time. ::sighs:: I think I came off sounding like an idiot... I don't perform well verbally when under pressure, so I was quite flustered. I tell you, I don't wish the experience on anyone.
For the rest of the class, I felt like I was going to be sick. I almost got up a few times to get some air outside, but I was afraid if I moved that much I really would be sick. So I just stayed in my seat and tried not to look obviously upset. That took most of my concentration... And I'm not even sure it was successful because I have one of those faces where you can see what I'm thinking by looking at me and I really can't hide it... And even when I got home a little while ago, I still felt a little nauseous. This was why I had wanted to go last, I knew I'd have this reaction and be perfectly useless to anyone for anything for the rest of the time I was required to be there... and I really was completely useless.
I can't even bring myself to look at the rough draft copy I got back from the prof... I just can't take it right now... I have to let it sit until at least Friday... maybe Saturday... so that I can detach myself from crying over my own awful paper. I didn't used to have this problem. I used to take constructive criticism on papers much better than this. Not sure what my issue is...
Okay, I will stop complaining now...
The only bright spots of the day were Latin class (because it can't be anything but, even when it's hard), Roman Lit (again, for the same reason), eating lunch with Stacey, seeing my friend Maria for all of 2 seconds (both she and I are *so* busy right now!), and arriving home to discover that my "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy" t-shirt had come in the mail, and it fits! :D It really makes me much happier than it should. LOL! I will wear it to Latin tomorrow.
Oh! And about Latin ;D I have a question... "Esse" in the future tense of the 3rd plural is "erunt" but for the future perfect is it "fuerunt" or "fuerint"? The back of the book doesn't say, or if it does I haven't found it...
~Rachael
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4 comments:
Rachel,
There is a lot that I wish to say about reviews of one's written work, and issues of constructive and decosntructive criticism, but it's too long and involved to do it here in writing. If you still want to talk about it on Monday, come see me between classes (2-3.30). Trust me, things aren't always what they appear, and chilling when someone isn't feeling your work is something that all adults have to learn at some point or another. I trust your work was good; take from your reviewers only those comments that seem appropriate and well-intentioned. You don't have to change your entire thesis because of what your peers think (what did the prof say?). Please let's talk about this further if you want,ok?
Also, on a completely different note: I am having my wisdom teeth extracted tomorrow morning and I am mortified at the thought. All the Latin in the world can't help me right now, except maybe perhaps 'Pater, sagnificentur nomen tuum, adveniat regnum tuum....' The doc is telling me that my face will look like a blue balloon for days to come, so be prepared for the ogre that I will be on Monday.
Vestra,
E.
I'm glad our lunch brought some sunshine to your hectic day.
Professor, you're awesome. I was just being rather childish when I wrote this last night, feeling very sorry for myself. I'm rather embarrassed about the whole thing now. The work really wasn't very good, and that was the professor's take on things too. I think that had a good deal to do with my reaction to their criticism. It wasn't my best work and it wasn't even the best I could do and I knew it. The prof had a lot of helpful suggestions though, which I need to review this weekend. Thanks for the offer of help on Monday. If things don't work themselves out over the weekend, I just might take you up on it.
I sympathize over the wisdom teeth extraction. I had mine taken out a few years ago. But I have a friend who have had hers taken out and she didn't have any problems, very little pain, and hardly any swelling. So I hope that it is that easy for you.
Stacy: ;D Spending time with friends are always the brightest parts of my day. Lunch definitely helped take my mind off things.
Rachael,
There is no childish thing over being upset at peer criticism. Ask any professor who has had their conference papers rebuffed by a hostile audience, any corporate worker who slaved over a progress report to have the C.E.O pooh-pooh or it, even my father (a construction worker) was beside himself the other day with the architect at the site who told him that the concrete mix (that my dad had made) was 'chunky' and a 'slopy job'!!! It never ends, wherever you are, so you are now an honoray member of all those who live in the real world of others rather than some la-la land in which noone ever gives them any feedback. Trust the professor more than you do your peers, and accept only the comments that you can bring yourself to admit (when alone!) that really make sense. That being said, meanness and rudeness are unacceptable, no matter what the value of the criticism. That's where I draw the line, and you should too. I am still available if you want to carp about it Monday, but you will have to excuse me for being all ears and no comments. I am unable to open my mouth for more than 1/2 inch, and my accent sounds even worse than it nornally does...hopefully it will be better my Monday. I miss you all, I hate the last week of classes now (which I have waited for so much) and I will spend the weekend devising ways to make the passive voice more tasty for us. Later cuncti, E.
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